Open Wide...

I had my six-monthly trip to the dentist today. First off I had a de-scale and polish with the hygienist. It was a hygienist I hadn't seen before and my usual one just gets on at scraping and proding away without talking. But this one was all about the chat and it was a real test of how many different noises I can make with her hands in my mouth. Turns out I have noises for "really?", "cool", "oh wow that sounds lovely", "a springer spaniel, amazing, who knew?". I imagine they all sound pretty similar to the untrained ear, but the woman is a professional and no doubt deciphering these noises is all part of the training.

She's great I love her. She told me all about her last trip to Scotland, how she saw all the wildlife she wanted to, including an otter which caught a crab which it took to the shore to eat. Then she watched it for a further hour and forty minutes while it caught more and more food. Then I discovered that her family had lived in Colorado for a year when she was 7 and they had a white Christmas but that her sister is 2 years younger and doesn't remember it. More recently she stopped over in Toronto for a day en route to somewhere else and she thought it to be a wonderful place (and I enthusiastically agreed while she buffed away at the back of my mouth) and she'd read a book by the same author as 'The English Patient' had I seen 'The English Patient'? I made noises like "not yet" but apparently I should. Anyway the book was set in Toronto, she thought in the 1920s, and even then it was a very multicultural, tolerant place which meant that there were lots of good places to eat out. I found out more about the life of my new hygienist in those short minutes than I know about some of my friends.

Then I went to the dentist who poked each of my teeth with a stick and said "Given your age (er, excuse me?) it is extremely unlikely you will ever get any decay. You could move into a sweet shop and still be ok". Erm, so why on earth do I need to hand £25 over to you every 6 months then?