Change of Scenery

I was inspired by the truly inspirational River to mess around with my blog template. Apologies for any inconvenience which no doubt there will be as I'm just messing with the template with wild abandon. Huge credit is due to The Inspiration Gallery who will get a proper link as soon as I can get rid of a few gremlins...

It's All Greek To Me

I made that particular joke within about 10 minutes of landing in Athens in reference to the metro timetable. Someone had to. And I don't mind telling you I laughed long and hard about it.



Greece was great. The conference was ok. The organisation was pretty bad but not awful. My presentation went well, in spite of a fairly intimidating set of circumstances including speaking in this HUGE theatre...



AND being introduced as 'Professor' despite barely being able to see over the lectern. Once that nastiness was out of the way I could enjoy the rest of the lectures. Most of them were boring as hell. A few were REALLY interesting and if you're VERY lucky I'll do a post about them. It may not sound that exciting but one of them discussed how other women's breasts might be able to enhance the female libido. Not exactly what I was expecting I'll be honest.

Also had a bit of free time to eat, drink coffee, eat, drink, eat ice-cream, drink and, of course, check out the Acropolis and other ancient things.

The vet 'kissing the guns' at the Acropolis...



Unobstructed view of the Acropolis...



More ruins...








Goddess of sports apparel - Nike...



Look at the sky! It was SO blue and SOOO hot out there! Bristol is soaking wet, dark and foggy.

The flight both ways was really pretty good actually (dogga - it was a 767). On the way out me and the vet bagged exit seats with all the leg-room in the world. We had some perfectly acceptable pasta and a tiny bottle of red wine. As a slightly mental claustrophobic I actual found the whole thing not too bad at all. I don't mind flying. In fact I love flying, I just can't stand planes - being all crammed in with loads of other people. I know it's crazy but I just absolutely hate it and I wouldn't feel any different if it never left the ground. Loony. Mad as a bag of spiders.

Speaking of being mad...there was a small incident at passport control involving a group of Ukrainians with documentation issues. They basically tried to queue jump which pissed off a lot of people. So the Greek passport man divided the queue into Ukrainians and non-Ukrainians. Which was fine. But then after checking just two passports he stopped our queue to deal with them even though a Greek passport girl was already dealing with them. So a couple ran forward from the back to shout. My Argentinean boss shouted and I shouted a bit too. So then the Greek passport guy gave in but started by serving the couple that had RUN FORWARD FROM BEHIND US. The crowd went wild. We'd been stood there for nearly half an hour not moving while they faffed about and now they were serving them first!!! I yelled something about not being Ukrainian and my Argentinean boss, not holding back, called them 'f**king assholes'. The guy just shrugged so again he yelled 'get back get back f**king assholes, f**king assholes, you are a f**king asshole'. It was great. Didn't help though. They still got served first.

Goodbyyyeeeeeeeeee!

I'm off to Greece for a conference. I've been stupid busy preparing for it for the last few weeks, and the last few days have been utterly manic hence my terrible neglect of my blog. Back on Thursday, I'll bring back a stick of rock and a straw donkey for everybody. Byeeeeeeeeeee!

Free Porn

No, not naked ladies, Food Porn! Gorgeous recipes to do with as you please.

Rehab

I heard this today by Amy Winehouse who I love, I think she's great. She's so striking with all that hair and look at those shoes! F**k me pumps as she would say.



Mum HATES her. I appreciate she's certainly not your average, and I can see you either love her or hate her. Like marmite. Which I also love.

Here she is being interviewed in a butcher's (caution contains graphic scenes of meat preparation)...



I've been subjected to SO much telly over this weekend. I've been trapped in the flat writing a presentation and I've had the telly on in the background. Lucky for me my 2 favourite films with elements of time travel in them have been on - Donnie Darko and Back to the Future. I also watched Frankenstein which immediately followed Back to the Future - another film with a crazed scientist whose invention relies on a lightening storm. Weird.

Love is an arrow

I just went to get my hairs cut (nothing fancy, same as before) and they played this on the video music thing they have there. It's pretty bloody cute...



My hairdresser is funny. He looks like a lion with lots of gold hair and a beard and he loves fishing. He was telling me all about how waders can kill you. Even if you just fall over in chest-high water the waders immediately fill up with water and you become a dead weight. He did an impression of how he'd be found - tongue out pulling at the top of the waders. Lovely.

He also told me he nearly died the first time he wore waders as the water was deeper than he thought and he was clinging onto the end of a ladder with his arms while the rest of him was being dragged away by the current. His brother was trying, and failing, to pull him back but luckily a little old lady came by and together they pulled him out! He's not a small guy either. What a hero.

He was also talking about fishing competitions at 3am in long grass that gets covered by water. Apparently the ground is full of quite significant cracks and you've no idea where they are until you fall into one. They all wear little headlights and every so often one just suddenly disappears, followed by a lot of effing and jeffing. Who knew fishing could be so treacherous?

Bloody Mother F**king Asshole

Well. That didn't take long. The back wheel of my bike has been stolen. I'm furious. I mean, what the f**k? Who steals the back wheel of a bike? Ok maybe someone who'd had their wheel stolen but really that's no excuse. And I feel really bad cos it's not even my bike it's Stu's. F**ker. I can't believe it. Absolute wanker. Crap like this makes me hate Bristol. I'm getting really good at getting stuff stolen for people. I'd already got my sister's whole bike stolen after she loaned it to me last year. It didn't even last the weekend. And my car, my crappy little Toyota that's 9 years old. The stereo is an old knackered cassette player, I leave the glove box open so you can see it's empty, and take the front off the stereo and never ever leave anything on show. Nothing for anyone to steal. So what do they do? They steal the parcel hatch, the interior light AND THE CARPET THAT LINES THE BOOT. Unbe-f*cking-lievable. That was last year but I'm still mad about it, mostly because it was just so bloody pointless. People round here are utter shitheads who just steal stuff because they can.

So now I have to get the poor thing fixed which will cost about £60. Honestly it was so sad seeing it lying there, crippled. I there I was looking like a total moron, helmet in one hand, saddle in the other (cos I take my saddle with me SO IT DOESN'T GET THIEVED), mouth open like a bloody goldfish. And I mean, it was the back wheel with all the cogs and stuff so they must have come with tools. What a lot of effort to go to. It would have been less effort to go out, earn the £60, and BUY YOUR OWN BLOODY WHEEL COCKHEAD.

What did make me feel better was seeing a couple kissing at a bus stop. They were so engrossed in each other they didn't notice the smelly bearded drunk who'd walked up to them and was watching intently with his face literally inches from theirs. When they eventually parted they were greeted with his toothy grin and request for change for the bus. They were slightly alarmed to find him quite so very close. Had I not been forced to take the bus home I would have missed this little piece of comedy gold.

We visited Stu's nephew at the weekend, he's just turned 2. He's ridiculously cute. We got on pretty well. We played trains (Thomas the Tank Engine) and ate chocolate cake. It was great. We bought him Toby Le Chien...



He's a cut above your average pull-along hard-wood dog. He's shiny and lacquered and has the jauntiest collar in the land.

We missed open mic night this week but I nearly mowed down one of the guys from last week on my bike which reminded me to post a link to his myspace page as I think he's rather good (at playing the guitar anyway, not so good at looking before crossing the road)...

Happy Birthday Anna!

A very special present for you (may only be of interest to Anna, Gemma and my mum - apologies)...

Brrrring Brrrring!

This week I have been cycling into work for the first time in 3 years. I ache all over and my bum hurts. I look very much like the lady in the picture except I wear jeans and a big jacket. And I have a massive safety helmet, and I'm riding Stu's old bike. I do have the same startled expression and fixed grin as I weave through the Bristol rush hour. Honestly Bristol is shit for riding round. There are no cycles lanes, all the roads are really narrow and there are little pot holes everywhere. But there is an additional hidden danger to cycling in Bristol...Incurring the wrath of Venue readers. Venue is a weekly magazine for Bristol and Bath and has both an 'I saw you' and 'I'm sore at you' section, for example

"I saw you: Gloucester Road Post Office. Mon 22 Sept,3.35 PM.You yummy, blond, 5'3". Me 6'3" black jeans & shirt. You stood behind me in queue and smiled. I left with impure thoughts. Did you? peter1242** **o2.co.uk"

"I'm sore at you: j the clifton ginger. thinks its about time u came to realise u r ugly and unpopular"

I'm addicted to it. Because sometimes people reply and it's really cute, and it usually goes along the lines of

"I saw you: blonde hair blue eyes at this time in this place"
then next week,
"I've got blonde hair blue eyes and I was at that place at that time was it me?"
then the week after,
"It might have been, what were you wearing?" etc etc etc etc

I love it. There was nearly an accidental lesbian relationship once when a couple of straight girls each thought the other was a boy for WEEKS. It's like a soap opera I tell you.

Anyway here are a few of the cyclist-related 'I'm sore at you' entries from the past few weeks...

"Cyclists - GET ON THE RAOD. I have actually been forced on the road, pushing A PRAM as you idiots cannot seen to cycle on the roads! What is wrong with you?"

"Don't cycle on the pavement - CYCLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! Thereby avoiding pedestrians, door opening parked cars and the dreaded 'squeeeeze' past by the bus. Yes, it really annoys everyone in a car behind you, but so what?"

"Please all you cyclists out there, dont ride in the middle of the road as some idiot is suggesting. I ride and drive so see both points of view-know your place, keep near the kerb dont give lunies in BMW,s a reason to run you down !"

"I'm sore at all the ranting bicyclists; cycle at the weekend in the woods by all means. But you urban lot who shake yr limp wristed fists at cars as you mount the pavement swearing pathetic obscenities from 'neath your dead chicken helemets. Twats! You mince about the city centre on your crappy little bikes because you dont have a car, cant afford a gym membership, or are too mean to pay a bus fare, probably all three, f*ck*ng losers!"

"I understand people's frustration at cyclists using the pavements but just as there are bad cyclists there are bad drivers whose main aim it would seem is to score imaginary points by hitting us or causing damage. The cyclists, pedestrians nor drivers are at fault here but the Council so let's stop wasting our energy fighting amogst ourselves and stand up to the big boys who really can make a difference..."

"Im sore at you - people who leave their bins/recycling boxes on pavements. The cretins do not seem to have cottoned onto the fact that the bin men come once a fortnight. its hell with a pushchair what with the CYCLISTS - get on the road dickheads!"

"Pavement Cyclists: stay where you are, leave the roads for the car drivers that pay tax to be there"

"Pavement cyclists - USE THE ROADS - end of"

"I'm sore at you: for banging on about cyclists, i dont even have a bike ! who cares how they cycle to their destination, i usually find people walking on the pavement act just as stupidly as anyone in a car, bike, lorry, spaceship.... really people you must have better things to moan about !"

I don't ride on the pavement. And as I also drive I'm very mindful of the cars and try to make myself as small and unobtrusive as possible. But I'm totally paranoid that as soon as I get on my bike everybody HATES me! I may have to stop reading 'I'm sore at you' all together.

Anyone for tennis?

After all the science of last week I needed a break so we spent the weekend in Weymouth with ma and pa and Gemma. After a shopping trip (bought a little cream bobble hat) and some coffee and cake we watched Match Point. Odd film. Woody Allen film set in London. Not about tennis at all. There were quite a few things wrong with it, least of all the fact that the main character was supposed to be working class Irish but had the plummiest accent I've ever heard. He talked like the Queen. But I really liked it. I would recommend it. Believe it or not film reviews aren't my forte. Go here for someone who thought it was good, here for someone who thought it was bad.

Here comes the science bit

I was all about the science last week. I mean, I'm always all about the science, but last week I had to rub a few brain cells together. Usually I sit in the lab just trying to generate data robot-fashion. But last week I had a two hour meeting with my supervisors in which they systematically tore apart my first thesis chapter. Hard going but productive.

Then I went to a neuroimaging symposium, bits of which were really interesting. For example the same bit of the brain that is activated when we see movement, is also activated when we see images that imply movement...



Ain't that weird?

That's it for the science. Doesn't seem that much now I've written it down. Made my brain hurt at the time though. I was glad for the weekend.