The vet sees dead people

So this morning I popped into Boots to peruse the moisturising creams. I wanted to see what one smelled like so I gave the bottle a gentle squeeze...and a great big glob shot straight up my nose. I was startled to say the least. But I think I covered up pretty well and managed to resist the urge to just snot it straight back out over the display. What I didn't inhale I managed to nonchalantly rub into my nose. So I now have a soft nose and I certainly know what it smells like - I can still smell it now.

But if there's one person that can always make me feel better about myself it's the vet. At least I can be thankful I don't get myself into the situations he manages to.

The vet is, very admirably, taking part in a half marathon next month for the charity Barnardo's. Actually it's really quite soon. Just under three weeks away. He has been running to work every day for ages and ages which is very impressive. I'm a little worried he hasn't actually run more than 4 miles in one go yet. I don't know much about running but it seems like if you're going to run 13 miles, 4 mile runs might be under-doing it a bit. But he assures me he has an inherent genetic ability to run 13 miles so I'm sure it will be fine. Anyway, the poor lad is a little sweaty when he gets to work but the showers in the medical school can only be accessed by going through the human dissection room. I wouldn't want to shower anywhere near there but then I wouldn't want to run 13 miles either. He hasn't minded though, until yesterday when HE GOT LOCKED IN THERE FOR HALF AN HOUR!!! WITH THE DEAD PEOPLE!!! Aaaaaaahhhhh!! I'd rather snort moisturiser any day.

When Bloggers Meet...

Our friends Andrew and Mandy very kindly invited us to go and stay with them for the weekend. There has been a bit of a spate of bloggers meeting up recently so I took the opportunity to meet up with Dogga who lives near them...

Dogga and Kees


Ok so I'm cheating slightly, what with Dogga being Mandy's brother who I've actually known for quite some time (it was he who got me blogging in the first place).

So it was a good houseful, Me, Stu, Dogga, Andy, Mandy and their kids Luke and Amy. We had such a good time. We had fondue!!! I've never had fondue before so that was a first, it was LUSH. Then we had champagne under the stars in the pool which beeeooootiful. We can't see any stars in Bristol, too much light pollution.

Then we played Singstar (a little tipsy by this point) which is like competitive karaoke - the computer scores you on your tunefulness!! It's BRILLIANT. This looks to be Mr Tom Jones singing his little heart out...



I should also point out that most of these pics were quite shamelessly stolen from Dogga's Blog. Actually I could have saved my energy and directed you over there for the entire post.

Andy and Stu


Dogga and Kees


We were clearly taking the whole thing very seriously but despite our best efforts I think one of the kids won overall. Pesky kids spoiling our fun.

One of the top Singstar tunes, completely murdered by me, sung here properly...


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Aaaaaarrrrgghhhhhh!!!

Blogger has fallen down and can't get up. I can't comment on anyone's blog, and until today I haven't been able to post. And I can't read comments either. And I don't even know if this will work because the screen has gone all weird and not the usual blogger template but plain text stylee. Is anyone else having problems? It's driving me nuts >:(

Mooooooooooooo!

Monday was a complete arse of a day so Stu took me to The Sausage, one of my favourite ever places to eat, to cheer me up. As the name suggests they specialise in sausages and mash and it's just absolutely bloody lovely. I had lamb, mint and apricot sausages with champ (mash with chopped spring onions) and Stu had beef and ale sausages served as toad-in-the-hole. Those sausages are SO good. Full of sausagie goodness. Yum.

And speaking of cows, well, beef, thank GOD someone has taken the time to do this invaluable research. Cute little buggers, who knew? And you absolutely have to listen to the audio clip. Outstanding.

Weekend

As a change from my usual busy go-getter lifestyle I have done nothing but slob around this weekend. The vet came round to take Stu off to the pub - the vet has started going to a pub just round the corner from us that we've never really considered going to because it's no bigger than our lounge and therefore a little scary. But he reckons it's worth going just to see the one-armed barmaid pull a pint so that sold it and off they went. I did not go to the pub. The vet dropped 'Teachers' series 2 round on DVD for me so I was all set. Other DVDs I have watched this weekend include 'LA Story' and 'Big Blue' which is the Luc Besson film about a free diver, not to be confused with 'Deep Blue Sea' the film about genetically modified killer sharks (also a wonderful film).

Stu got back from the pub and decided to re-organise all his CDs, and all our books, and all his audio and computer bits and pieces. Hard work never killed anyone and it certainly won't get me, so I just watched more 'Teachers'. Also this weekend I did a little bit of school work, but not so as you'd notice, and played on YouTube where I found this which reminded me of the Weakerthans' video for 'Our Retired Explorer (Dines with Michel Foucault in Paris, 1961)' which you can watch here at Will's blog. Behold, The Automatic 'Monster'...

Pissing In The Wind

Another Badly Drawn Boy video starring her royal highness Joan Collins...



Well done to Ben for reminding me of it.

I found it I found it!

I love this video. This is the video to the Badly Drawn Boy track I posted in which the bearded one is a New York taxi. It'll warm your cockles...

Open Wide...

I had my six-monthly trip to the dentist today. First off I had a de-scale and polish with the hygienist. It was a hygienist I hadn't seen before and my usual one just gets on at scraping and proding away without talking. But this one was all about the chat and it was a real test of how many different noises I can make with her hands in my mouth. Turns out I have noises for "really?", "cool", "oh wow that sounds lovely", "a springer spaniel, amazing, who knew?". I imagine they all sound pretty similar to the untrained ear, but the woman is a professional and no doubt deciphering these noises is all part of the training.

She's great I love her. She told me all about her last trip to Scotland, how she saw all the wildlife she wanted to, including an otter which caught a crab which it took to the shore to eat. Then she watched it for a further hour and forty minutes while it caught more and more food. Then I discovered that her family had lived in Colorado for a year when she was 7 and they had a white Christmas but that her sister is 2 years younger and doesn't remember it. More recently she stopped over in Toronto for a day en route to somewhere else and she thought it to be a wonderful place (and I enthusiastically agreed while she buffed away at the back of my mouth) and she'd read a book by the same author as 'The English Patient' had I seen 'The English Patient'? I made noises like "not yet" but apparently I should. Anyway the book was set in Toronto, she thought in the 1920s, and even then it was a very multicultural, tolerant place which meant that there were lots of good places to eat out. I found out more about the life of my new hygienist in those short minutes than I know about some of my friends.

Then I went to the dentist who poked each of my teeth with a stick and said "Given your age (er, excuse me?) it is extremely unlikely you will ever get any decay. You could move into a sweet shop and still be ok". Erm, so why on earth do I need to hand £25 over to you every 6 months then?

Up Up and Away...

This is the last of the balloon pics. The morning after the night glow we dragged our lazy arses out of bed for the 6am launch. We actually made it up to the camera obscura by about 6.05am and had missed most of it. Bugger. But it was a good atmosphere, there were loads of people there - one family even had a BBQ going! At 6 in the morning! Which made me hungry so we went home and had scrambled eggs.

Balloons...


Bridge and Balloons...


Where's Kees...?


Not so hard to spot stu...

Night Glow!!!!

As promised enough pictures of balloons to make your eyes bleed. On Thursday night (I know I know I'm such a slacker) we went to the Balloon Fiesta Night Glow!!! It was absolutely spectacular - all the balloons were grounded and then slowly inflated and fired up in time to music...

Hmm, what shall I take pictures of? Balloons, balloons or balloons?


Dark and dead balloons...


Slowly inflating balloons...


Night Glow!!!!














Thoroughly happy with my first night glow AND rare photo of Stu smiling. Well, grinning...


When we got home we trudged up to the camera obscura up by the bridge. The bridge was closed to traffic for the fiesta so Stu managed to get this ace pic...



But it's not over yet, oh no. If you can believe it there are yet more balloon pics to come...

Mr and Mrs Anna

HUGE congratulations to little Anna and lovely James who got engaged to be married at the weekend!

List Goodness

Dogga tagged me to do this, it's one of those life experience thingamibobs. I do love a list and I'm a good girl that always does as she's told so...

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain - On Dartmoor, not sure it qualifies as a 'mountain' exactly
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula - Yes! Loved it, they're more like little creatures than spiders
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone - Lovely but cramped
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it - Loads
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris - Stu took me when we first got together
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea - Yep
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise - At summer ball, only caught the end of the sunrise tho :(
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa (now closed to the public)
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables - Chillies? They're all I've got room for. And basil.
18. Touched an iceberg - Touched an iceberg lettuce quite a few times. Didn't seem like an 'experience' at the time
19. Slept under the stars - Lots
20. Changed a baby's diaper - Stu's nephew Joshua, stinky little monkey
21. Taken a trip on a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower - Waited for a meteor shower at 4am ON THE WRONG NIGHT. Doh.
23. Got drunk on champagne - LOVE champagne. Lots of times.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity - Yep
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope - Lots
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment - It's an affliction. I've had giggling fits at no less than 2 funerals. Luckily giggling fits also look like sobbing.
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger - Yes, when I was 13!!!
30. Had a snowball fight - Loads
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - Yep
32. Held a lamb - Stroked one at the petting zoo
33. Seen a total eclipse - Yep
34. Ridden a roller coaster - Loads!!
35. Hit a home run - Yay for rounders
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking - Too many times
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - Lots and lots of times
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced - The funniest time was a flatmate who phoned me and said, with perfect clarity, he was so drunk he couldn't walk and was laying under a bridge somewhere. Could I come find him? He wasn't wrong but could speak perfectly. Weird.
42. Had amazing friends - Right now!
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - breifly with a man with a HUGE mullet at a street party in Barcelona last year
44. Watched wild whales - Minky whales off Cape Cod
45. Stolen a sign - I spent a whole night carefully taking a huge Jack Daniels banner down from the wall of a club, and neatly rolling it up without being detected but got drunk and forgot it. I also stole one of those cute little yellow lanterns they use on roadworks and took it to a party. But I felt bad and took it back on the way home.
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing - On Portland and Dartmoor
49. Midnight walk on the beach - Lots! Come from Weymouth!
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken for longer than when you were in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds - With Stu. He is a CD-alphabetizing nazi
57. Pretended to be a superhero - At school. Wonderwoman, natch
58. Sung karaoke - Gemma and I do a mean 'Endless Love'
59. Lounged around in bed all day - Of course
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain - Lovely
63. Played in the mud - Messy business
64. Played in the rain - Nowt wrong with a bit of rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken - Yep
69. Toured ancient sites - Pyramids and Roman ruins and stuff
70. Taken a martial arts class - Karate and something I can't remember the name of a few years ago
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch - Last ones were white chocolate and cranberry
78. Won first prize in a costume contest - I bloody should have, I was an oxo cube for god's sake
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage - Too many times for someone with very little acting talent. Most hilariously at the Edinburgh Festival!!! A cheerful play about the last woman to be burned to death in England. I was her hateful best friend.
85. Been to Las Vegas - Yes it was ACE!! We saw Seigfreid and Roy and stayed at the Flamingo Hilton AND the Mirage!! Wild
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship - 'Cruise ship' is stretching it a bit but it was a Cruise from Cyprus to Egypt
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
10. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge - Went there but didn't walk it
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking - EVERY time I get in the car. The last time being yesterday
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray - In Florida
110. Broken someone's heart - Over a decade ago! We were babies, but he did make quite a fuss about it
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone - Broke my finger trying to hit Stu and missing. It was only a jokey whack, still not sure how I did it
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced - Belly button
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol - Clay pigeon shooting
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse - Once when I was a small child - my face tripled in size so you couldn't see my eyes. Slightly allergic.
119. Had major surgery - Not really major just gromits in my ear holes
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours - I'm sure
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi - Yup, yummy
128. Had your picture in the newspaper - Yup, most recently for a science fair. Cringe.
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about - I think they were probably just humouring me to shut me up
130. Gone back to school - I'm going to be a student forever if I can manage it
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach - I petted a huge beetle last weekend, I've never come across a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read - Homer! Went to night-school to study Ancient Greek last year. Too much homework :(
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language - Learnt sign language years ago
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream - Quite often really I suppose
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair - Had a stall at a public science fair in the centre of Bristol does that count? God I hate this thing I'm such a loser
146: Dyed your hair - Not too sure what my natural hair colour is. Dyed my own hair (with Anna's help) until I accidently dyed it bright yellow (without Anna's help) a few years back. Now I get professionals to do it.
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life

If I haven't answered it I haven't done it!

BA Cancels All Flights To America

Thanks to Anna for that which made me laugh out loud. I'm still giggling over it now. Too funny.

Room With A View

Usually it's all about the front of the flat. That's where stuff happens, parking disputes, topless sunbathing, fighting lovers, boys who have no idea I'm sat out on the balcony talking about their girlfriends' sexual habits...yesterday there was even one of those machines that munches up trees and spits out wood chip parked in the road munching trees and making a lot of noise about it. But the back of the flat has been where it's at over the last few days. Firstly the moon has been unbelievably bright and Stu has managed to get some spectacular pics...







And secondly, this week is one of my favourite weeks of the year...Balloon Fiesta!!! On Tuesday morning we were woken up by the sound of hot air balloons being fired up - it's surprising how loud they are - looked out the window and saw the sky crammed with hot air balloons at 6.30am!!! Who knew we had such a good view of the flight path...







Expect many many more pics of hot air balloons over the next few days...

Men with Guitars and Virgins with Babies

On Monday night (god it's Thursday already and I'm still going on about Monday night what a slacker) the vet and stu and I went to an open mic night at our old local (which is a very cool pub being as it is both a pub and a small theatre). I half expected a right load of old chaff but I was pleasantly surprised to hear a series of men with guitars who were all really rather good. AND this particular pub has started serving vanilla cheesecake with chocolate fudge sauce. Well done them. It was some good cheesecake.

The standard of men-with-guitars actually got better with each man. Certainly the correct way round as the first man-with-guitar was extremely nervous and would never have been able to follow the last man-with-guitar. The second man-with-guitar sang a great song about working for the council "the best thing about working for the council is the work/life balance" which pleased us. Another thing that pleased us was that one of the best men-with-guitars was called Marco but he looked like Dr Bruce Banner and when his guitar started to feedback we were hopeful he would go green and bust right out of his shirt. Sadly he managed to keep his cool. Looking forward to going back next week but they could do with a bit of variety, maybe a woman with a guitar or at least a man with a different instrument.

Also on Monday Anna sent me her pics of Damien Hirst's 35-ft tall, 13.5 ton statue 'The Virgin Mother'. She saw it over the weekend on a trip to the Royal Academy of Arts in London (where she now lives cos she's way cooler than me).











I'm not really into Damien Hirst, or modern art at all really, but I really like this a lot. I think it's very beautiful and if I thought the balcony would take the strain I'd get over there with my cheque book. But loads of people HATE it, which I was surprised at because it's just a body after all, and really internal organs and muscles and bones are pretty amazing and people shouldn't be disgusted by them. I mean it is pretty disgusting to see them exposed if it's by a violent means, that's a fairly natural reaction, but it's not like this is red and slimey or anything. If Sir Professor Lord Doctor Robert Winston was there with a 3D computer animation of cross-sections of a pregnant woman no-one would bat an eyelid. I'm not saying everyone has to like it but I just do not understand being offended by it...

"It's not appropriate. There are pregnant women in this neighborhood. And this is a restaurant. You hungry now?"
Ansel Sheilds, New York

"Virgin Mother should be removed straightaway and those responsible for placing it here should be fired or whatever is done with reckless, imbecilic billionaires"
Jerry Saltz, artnet

"I don't like Hirst's sculpture at all...I'm fed up with seeing sculptures of pregnant women"
Fiona Townsend, Suffolk

"This is disgusting. What is the purpose?"
Baramee Prapusakpitak, Thailand

I just think it's weird how people seem most offended by the most natural things in the world like sex, nakedness, viscera, pregnancy...? Maybe I'm completely off the mark here. Maybe because I work in an anatomy department and I'm used to seeing stuff like that (well ok, not quite like that) it doesn't bother me. Maybe because I've got a bit too much time on my hands I've successfully worked myself up into a frenzy about nothing. Discuss...

Some Treats For Your Ears

I have recently discovered The Archie Bronson Outfit who have a great name and also beards. This is my fav track 'Cherry Lips' from 'Derdang Derdang'...


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They are playing at the End of The Road Festival soon along with Badly Drawn Boy so I thought I'd post this too, primarily for Barbara B who I think will like it given her comments on Will's excellent music review blog...


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Party Party Party

Stu and I went down Devon way for a party party party at the weekend. It was at his friend's house in the utter middle of nowhere. He'd arranged for us to stay on a farm which was frankly a little alarming. We were greeted by a couple of mental-looking hounds, one of which had its head permanently tilted to one side and went round filling its mouth with rocks, swirling them round, then spitting them out. Nutter. We were shown to our room and we asked about keys - she just grinned and said we don't use keys round here. Eeks.

Being a Westcountry girl Devon brought out the absolute worst in my Westcountry accent, at one point I actually said " 'ark at they crickets". Such a bumpkin.

The party was really good, one the blokes has a micro-brewery and had brought along 10 gallons of beer. God it was amazing, really fruity and hoppy. Nicest beer I've ever had. And being in the middle of nowhere the music was up good and loud all night. AND they had swing ball!!! I know how to party.

Down on the farm...

This Is A Test

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This is a test. And is also my favourite song at the moment. Let me know if it works or not. Ta very much.

The F Word

I thoroughly enjoyed my night of crappy tv watching and fell asleep wrapped up in one of the minks (they're not real minks they're very furry throws from Woolworths) somewhere in the middle of Big Brother. One of the highlights was The F Word. Sigh. Gordon you can come round to my kitchen and shout at me any time you like my darling.



Giles Coren had discovered Pimp My Snack. To pimp a snack it must first be deconstructed then recreated monster size. Thus...

Oreo


Rolo


Custard Cream


How totally brilliant! The deconstruction is the tricky bit because the snack should be made of the same stuff as the original - you can't just go making a big cake that looks like a snack. I'm amazed people can be bothered. So Giles set about making a giant Jaffa cake. Gordon said it was fucking disgusting which made me giggle. I'm so pathetic.

It's actually pretty relevant that I should be posting about the F Word as I'm in the process of trying to give it up. As in, giving up the actual F word in conversation. Like the delectable Gordon I use it far too much and I'm trying to stop. So a swear box has been started at 20p a time. Today's total is 60p which is great except I've been working from home and have barely spoken to a soul all day. In fact the balance reached 60p during one telephone conversation with the vet. Fucking terrible.

Reasons to be cheerful

All I've really done so far this week is work and sleep so I have very little to report! And I've been a bloody miserable little toad today. The boss has been on at me about how much work I've got to do so that put me in a foul mood. The Vet sent me a text saying 'cheer up fuckface' which actually did go some way to cheering me up. But I'm ok now because I went and got a bag of hot salty chips and a bottle of ice cold beer. And some cookies. But I might actually pop before I get round to the cookies. And I'm going to sit on the sofa and watch crap TV until I fall asleep. Bliss.

Another reason to be cheerful is that the lab that the Vet and I work in has finished being renovated and IT'S GOT AIR CONDITIONING!!! It's like a fridge in there and it's bloody great.

Yet another reason to be cheerful is that I bought a huge bamboo on the weekend and it's sprung to life and is GORGEOUS. Look at it. I love it.